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Marion and Jim spend all their time together. Marion thinks it's romantic. Because she 'loves
him so much', Marion always wants to know what Jim has been doing and where he is going
and who he sees. She thinks this is normal that when you are a couple you do everything
together. Jim thinks she is suffocating him but he knows she'll be upset if he asks for space so
he just caves in. This is an extremely unhealthy relationship and is doomed to misery or
carefully controlled co-dependency.
Don't look to your man to fill the gaps in your life. Keep up with all your friends and make sure
you go out on your own and do your thing. Sure it's great to share things together and it's also
great to do things apart. A happy mixture is what you are looking for.
When he wants to be alone, recognise it. John Gray says that men need to go off into their
caves to mull over their problems. If he does that, let him be. He’ll return when he’s ready.
He is uniquely interesting and fascinating
I lived with a guy once whose hobby was pistol shooting. He invited along to his gun club and
being a curious soul, I went along. instead of dismissing it as ‘boy-stuff’, I had a go, liked it
and eventually I learned to shoot.
Shooting was something Steve really enjoyed and he wanted to share it with me. I was pleased
about that because I learned a new skill and got to spend time with him as he indulged his
passion. That kind of quality time is a sure-fire passion enhancer!
If your man invites you to share an activity or a passion with him, or if he wants to talk about
what he does, be open to it. It’s his way of sharing something of himself with you. If it’s not
appropriate for you to get involved directly, show an interest or find out about it. Ask him what
he loves about it. Notice how passionate he gets when he talks about it. A woman friend
loves to be around her man when he watches football. She said ‘he gets so excited, the air is
thick with testosterone and he’s up for anything after!’
Your interest is also a sign that you accept him as he is. When you encourage him to indulge
his passion and show an interest in it, he will be much more open to other kinds of passion!
Warning: If you aren’t able to get interested in your man’s passion, NEVER criticize or make
fun of it. He will withdraw and close off that part of himself to you and you will lose out
Nurture the red-blooded male in him
Well adjusted, red blooded men like sex. Statistics say that they think about it at least every
7 seconds. If your man is attractive and sexy, the chances are he’s going to notice other
women and be noticed by them. Instead of trying to stop him, accept it as a part of what men
do! If he comments on a woman’s good looks, and you agree, say so. If you don’t, say so
too, and say it honestly and without envy. I’ve watched men I’ve been with and noticed them
admiring women. I see this as a positive sign that he is a sexually healthy man and I smile
knowing he is with me.
Flirt with him. Sure, you flirted with him when you first met, but do you still do it? If you
don’t you should. If you are intimate, you have a lot of material with which to lace your
flirting. Tease him with memories of the passion you share. When you are apart, if it is
appropriate, ring him, e-mail him or text him occasionally. Pop a note into his jacket pocket.
Keep your communication sexy and short! Don't use a regular pattern like always ringing him
at 4.30pm - the surprise goes and it just becomes an everyday occurrence. And keep your
fingers off the repeat button. You could cause overwhelm. Unless he’s very insecure,
overwhelm makes a man uneasy. He may start to dream of 'boiled rabbits' and 'fatal attraction'
and you’ll find him pulling back.
Remind him about the sexual intimacies that you share and indulge in lots of touching,
displaying or whatever turns you both on.
What comes to mind when you think about being a ' cook' in the kitchen, a 'hostess' in the
living room and a 'slut' in the bedroom? If you are a well-adjusted female and sure of your own
success, you can enjoy these roles too.
If you love to cook, do so and get off on him enjoying your food
and if you don't cook just buy in what he likes and serve it to him. Nurturing his appetite is definitely one way to a man’s heart!
Being a hostess doesn’t mean smiling sweetly and plumping his pillows while he watches TV,
It means being your vibrant, sociable and interesting self. It means welcoming him in. And if it
pleases you to please him, then by all means plump his pillows and remind him of what is to
come when he switches off the TV!
Being a 'slut' doesn’t mean making him pay for sex or or treating sex as a chore, it means being
wanton, desirous and sexy and it means being available for sex because you like it as much as
he does!
Above all show him that you desire him. There is nothing guaranteed to make a man feel good
towards you more than a wanton expression of your natural desire for him.
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P.S. - Peta Heskell is author of the book Flirt
Coach published in the USA.
You can access her
website at:www.flirtcoach.com
Following is a list of readings that we recommend for you:
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Her
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