Hi,
I
need to understand why some men have are overly obsessed with porn. Is it
that he is imagining he is having sex with them?
Please
tell me it like it is!
Thank
you
---------------------------------------------
relationship
advice porn:
Hello!
Wouldn't
it be nice if there were a one-sentence answer to that question? The fact
is it is rather more complicated. However, let me try to help you
understand.
To
understand this, you have to know one important key about men: men are NOT
monogamous by nature. This isn't my fact by the way; it was here when I
arrived! It is actually one of the reasons why humans have been so
successful a species!
You
see, in any animal species where there are few offspring born, and the
infant mortality rate is high (as it is with gerbils, whales, dogs,
giraffes and humans), the males are "wired" to seek multiple
females for mating. This is how they help to insure that their genes get
passed on to the next generation.
Interestingly,
females are programmed to "pair bond" - that is, to try to
create and sustain a monogamous relationship! By having a second adult
around to protect, gather food, and raise their young, this is how females
help to insure that THEIR genes get passed along as well!
In
actuality pair bonding is a relatively new thing to humans - we've only
been doing it for 5,000 years! Since we've been on this planet, (6 million
years), we've been doing it "nature's way" for 99.92% of the
time we've been here!
So,
what does this have to do with porn? You see, men (males) are compelled to
try to mate with as many women (females) as possible. However, they want
to try to meet the expectations of society by staying in committed,
monogamous relationships too. Thus, porn becomes a safe outlet for men's
natural instincts. By viewing porn, they satisfy their programming while
maintaining their commitments to their women.
You
shouldn't be threatened by your man viewing porn any more than he should
be threatened by you reading romance novels! In fact, it's his way of
dealing with his natural programming; just as expecting him to be
monogamous and committed to you is yours.
To
be continued below...
|
What is
the simple way to get him to make love to you as often
as you desire? And what is the secret to help him perform longer?
These secrets and 500 others at: 500
lovemakeing tips and secrets
|
Let's
talk about the monogamy part, as it is important to your implied question.
As I mentioned, men are not monogamous by nature. BUT - we can CHOOSE to
be. So, don't try to force your man to be monogamous - you're just going
against nature, and his natural programming, and you know what happens
when you try to fight nature - nature wins! Instead, simply be the woman
for whom he chooses to be monogamous!
Best
regards...
P.S. - By Dr. Dennis
W. Neder, he is the author of
Being a Man in a Woman's World
Following is a list of readings that we recommend for you:
-
Her
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See what you think... "Instant Sexy
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- With the divorce rate over 55% in the United States today
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