Let's clear up
the confusion surrounding compliments.
A lot of guys think that the way into a girl's pants is to suck up to her
and kiss her ass through excessive compliments and gift-buying.
Of course, giving too many compliments to a woman, especially about her
looks, only makes you look NEEDY and desperate. At best she'll think
"Oh another desperate guy," and at worst it gives her the green
light to walk all over you.
compliments to say to a girl:
On the other hand, some guys have the philosophy that you should NEVER
compliment a girl to avoid looking needy. But this isn't right
Giving a compliment can be VERY powerful with a woman when you say it
directly, smoothly, and with no apologies. The key difference is
this - if you give her a compliment from a position of power then she will
see you as a powerful person who and she will continue to work for your
approval. On the other hand, if you give her a compliment out of
sexual neediness then she will see you as a weak beggar.
Compliments Work For You
Compliments are useful in that they can put her in a good frame of mind
about you. A compliment can work for you by noticing something she
put a lot of effort into, something that most guys don't take the time to
notice - therefore setting yourself apart from the pack.
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For instance, if she's wearing something unusual, compliment on that.
Or is she has put highlights in hair, mention that. If she's gone
out of her way to stick out her breasts, you can even compliment her on
that. If you can't think of anything, tell her how she has such a
nice energy. In ALL cases it's important that your attitude is calm
and playful - NOT needy and desperate.
And whatever you say, say it like that you mean it. If your voice
isn't congruent with the power of your compliment, it will ring false.
Now, should you compliment a woman on her looks? For especially
beautiful women in particular, avoid complimenting their beauty.
They may well appreciate it, but that's what EVERY guy tells them, and
they probably have the compliment associated with a lot of losers.
So you're not setting yourself apart from the losers and you risk getting
associated with a bunch of needy desperate guys.
Give It, Then Fractionate Away
Compliments are made more powerful by using them SPARINGLY and
For example, you may give her a compliment ONCE on her great smile, and
then start being more cocky and funny, or simply change the direction of
the conversation away from her. Don't continue to dwell on her great
Or, compliment and then instantly do a "take back" which can be
even more powerful. For example, say to her, "You know, it
looks like you put a lot of time into your hair... I mean it's really
beautiful... but... I just noticed... that... you have some hair that's
out of place and is going a little crazy right here." In this
example, you give the compliment about her hair, and then you "take
back" when you tell her it's out of place. Just make sure the
"take back" is something comparatively minor to the compliment
and can be corrected, otherwise it comes off as an insult. For
example, if you said, "Your hair is beautiful, but that style went
out in the 60's," she'd probably take that as an insult.
If anything, just keep in the mind the fundamental rules; give compliments
sparingly, if at all. And if you feel you're about to give one out
of neediness or for lack of anything else better to say, keep it to
By Derek Vitalio
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