Men's Sexuality - Premarital Sex Facts And Statistics:
The Case for Premarital Sex
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Relationship Building As already mentioned, sex is all about communication. Relationships are built on communication. While you can be in a relationship that lacks this important key, are you really willing to live this way? Probably not. Premarital Sex Facts And Statistics: Like everyone else, you want passion and joy in your relationships and so will your partners. If the relationship is good, sex is the key to take it to higher and higher levels. There are some in this society preaching that, by withholding sex from your partner you can achieve other goals. Perhaps this may work with some people, but are you really going to be happy with the results? People with strong, healthy self-images don't feel a need to manipulate others to get their ways. Instead, the BUILD relationships based on mutual need and respect. Sex is a powerful motivator, but it is even more a powerful builder. Entire cultures have been saved or created by it! If it can do this much, how much damage can it do by misusing it? The offices of psychologists are full to the brim of people that have found the answer to this question. Personal Growth Psychologists have long understood the impact our sexuality has on our personalities. In fact, many believe that nothing is as powerful! Even Sigmund Freud believed that everything we do, every choice we make, every action is guided by our sexuality. What happens then if you are "sexually immature"? Isn't it likely that you will also be emotionally immature? The greatest growth people experience happens when they learn to embrace their own sexuality. This actually begins in infancy. Very young children begin to learn about themselves physically. Unfortunately, many parents quickly try to eliminate sexuality from within their children. I personally believe that this is dangerous. Many parents wrongly believe that by "protecting" their children they are helping to prolong their innocence. As has recently come out, many children have been permanently damaged because of this philosophy by those we are supposed to respect and trust - the clergy. The fear and lack of understanding and communication inflicted on these children by their parents led to severe emotional trauma of molestation. What would have happened if the parents of these children empowered them by giving them a healthy understanding of sexuality instead? Would it have prevented the devastation caused? I don't know if it would have prevented every occurrence, but it would have at least given these children other tools to deal with the situation. The fact is, children live in an adult world. Its impossible to prevent this. So, why not at least give them enough courage to know they can rely on parents when someone attempts abuse? Even more important, why not give them the understanding (within their abilities) of what is acceptable behavior by adults, and what is not? Society's belief that sex is anything less than the wonderful, powerful tool for personal growth than it really is harms everyone - especially those most vulnerable. To be continued below...
Position in the "Dating Pool"
You may decide to be celibate, but do you think that most of the people you'll meet feel the same way? You limit your potential mates because most people don't want to be celibate in their sex lives. Your "target market" is likely a sexual one. If you choose to be celibate, you'd better make this known up front to anyone you'd be interested in dating because it is unusual. Finding this out after someone has invested time (and money) into a relationship with you is going to make for an unhappy exit. On the other hand, if you are sexual, and are comfortable with it, it shows. This confidence is one of the most attractive aspects to most people and you can use it to your advantage. By being "sexually confident" I'm referring both to in and out of the bedroom. This doesn't mean that you parade sex in front of everyone, it means that you are comfortable with yourself, your body and your sexuality. This also gives you the appearance of being a good lover - something most people want in their partners. The "Other Side" The real problem with sex is irresponsibility. Almost every sexual problem (other than physical or medical ones) can be traced back to a lack of sexual responsibility. If you choose to not be a virgin or celibate, then you must decide you'll be responsible instead to avoid the few, but important sexual problems. This means that you use condoms every time, that you consider your sexual partners health, concerns and needs, and most important - that you get educated about sex. I am a huge proponent of early sexual education. But, simply knowing the science doesn't prepare someone for the realities of a sexual life. These are learned through teachings far outside or sexual technique including promoting a healthy self-image, concern for, and awareness of others, morals, etc. A great place for all of this is a loving, involved, two-parent family. A bad place for this is ANY public organization such as a school or church. To be continued below...
Conclusion A person should think long and hard (pardon the expression!) about choosing a celibate lifestyle as the potential harm to one's self can be huge. On the other hand, a life-long quest to achieve sexual literacy and capability is one with unmatched rewards. I wish you the best sex you've ever experienced - you deserve it! ====================================== By Dr. Dennis W. Neder, he is the author of Being a Man in a Woman's World Following is a list of readings that we recommend for you:
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