Doctor:

My ex-husband and I have been divorced 3 years. We were married 13 years and have 2 children. For the last 8 months we have started having sex again. He has a girlfriend that almost lives with him, but will not tell her he is seeing me. I have tried to tell her this but she won't believe me.

I want to get our family back together but I’m not sure how to show him that this is the best thing. How do I get her out of the picture, so that nobody else gets hurt?

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Hello!

Obviously, I don't know your family situations, but you might want to ask yourself, if getting everything back together is REALLY the best thing. After all, you divorced for some reason. Just because you're having sex again doesn't mean that the relationship will work again. Putting two people together in a live-in arrangement adds tremendous amounts of stress to the relationship, (as you already know!)

I think you've done the wrong thing by going to his girlfriend. Frankly, you don't "own" him or his relationships! If you're not getting what you want from him your choice is to move on and find someone that DOES give you what you need. Sticking your nose into his relationship is a bad, problematic thing and frankly, you should butt-out.

Thus, you can't get her "out of the picture" - that is his choice. If he doesn't see the need or the benefit, he won't make that decision. You can't create things for his life; you can only do so for yours.

Good luck, much love...

To be continued below...

P.S. - By Dr. Dennis W. Neder, he is the author of  Being a Man in a Woman's World
P.S. - Got a love, relationship or man/woman question? I answer all letters. You can write to me at dwneder@remingtonpublications.com for answers. For more information about my book, “Being a Man in a Woman’s World”, visit: www.remingtonpublications.com   

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